Happy with Guilt

I have had a really difficult time during my last semester.

I played a lot

I couldn't focus on study

I have two boyfriends broke up with me in a month.

Worst, I got caught for sexy modelling.

I couldn't have feel much terrible than these.

During study week,

I cannot really focus myself.

I know I studied,

But I became lazier and weaker in memorization.

I used to re-memorize for few times, but now I just look through and find for the spot questions.

I feel guilty but at the same time I was wondering if that is what we call 'STUDY SMART'?

Worst, 

I cannot focus during my test.

This is the firsst time I have no idea what I am writing in my essay during one of the test.

I was so useless.

and lecturer spotted question didn't came out on the test. 

I fed up and just pray for at least 3.80.

then,

I got my exam result today

4.00

I can't believe my eyes when I first looking at it.

I even took out the calculator to calculate the marks.

I was stunned.

 

New Hope, New Life

I have been wanting to create a new blog for this thing so long, and finally it happened! ^^

I am a fashion blogger, own another blog called "EleanorDreamLand", but in fact, I am a future teacher.

I love fashion, I love to be a star, I love travelling around, to love to be loved and I love to dream. 

But as a teacher trainee, there're so many things that constrain be in pursuing my dream. 

That's why Eleanor Dream Land was created, in order to fullfill Eleanor's dreams. 

However, as time goes by, I realized I was lost.

I began to lost passion in teaching. 

I cannot focus on my study as I wanted to get into the fashion line so badly.

I lost hope in study, I got dumped by boyfriends, and I even hate myself as a teacher trainee.

I tell you, it was the worst thing happened in my life, so far.

I began to doubt my interest.

I blame my mum for forcing me to enter the teacher uni.

I hated my life.

But today I change.

on a Christmas Day.

I finally got someone who can really give me advice and motivation.

He's just a close friend of mine, and I have never be more glad than to talk to him tonight :)

I got myself this new blog, calling 'Eleanor the Teacher', almost similar to my fashion blog name, in order to let people know the two different lifestyle happened in one person.

I can be flirty, fashionable, sexy, cool in one blog, 

but I can also be a professional in another.

That's what I am trying to bring out here.

This will be my private blog, as I am going to write things I hate I love and I scared.

All my emotion will be here and I make it as my diary.

I hope this teacher life diary can at least make me dots down whatever inspiration I may used up during my teaching life later :)

So today,

I learn that I can focus on one thing to teach many subjects

I am a kindergarten teacher but I cannot mess up the teaching skills.

I must focus on one thing in order to make the learning process successful.

Hence I decided to use MUSIC.

My task: 

How to used Music in your kindergarten teaching life?

1) How to use music in order to create active learning?

2) How to use music in teaching language subject?

3) How to use music to teach maths and science?

4) How to use music to discipline students?

5) How to use music to calm down the students?

6) How to roar the emotions using music?

7) How to create imagination using music?

8) How to use music to make student concentrate in study?


I really thank God for bringing an angel to me on His mighty birthday.
This will be my most blessed Christmas so far!


On the other hand,
I still miss my ex boyfriend.
I really want him back cause he has been my life companion and the reason that make me happier in kelantan.
But I know things cannot be forced.
So I decided to leave things to God.


God,
I leave my love life to You,
As you must have prepared the best for me.
But until now, I still love him.
So, if that's not the love you granted,
please take away my sadness.
give me new hope, new life.
Amen.